When some one says class reunion what I here is bragfest. This week was the braggyest of bragiest Harvard University 50 year class of 62' bragfest. Some alumies could not attend and still sent their brags about career moves, retirements and grandkids. Like Ted Kaczynski who in the alumni directory, lists his awards as "Eight life sentences, issued by the United States District Court for the Eastern District of California, 1998 for murder."
Timothy Michael Poe's singing talent and his story of struggling back from a brain injury caused by a grenade in Afghanistan captivated the crowd on Monday's episode of "America's Got Talent." After just one song, Poe was already being called a favorite to win until some on checked his story with The US army who said they had no record of such a event. to witch poe responded "you guys check that stuff out? ah i meant when i was fighting for Afghanistan"
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
06-06-12
Chicago police received a surprise this week when they found a three-year-old girl holding a handgun. When they asked the 3 year old what the gun was for she responded protecting her crib.
A Cincinnati high school is withholding a graduate's diploma and requiring community service as punishment for what it describes as overly boisterous cheering by his family during his graduation. In other news a certain Cincinnati principal apparently didn't get enough hugs growing up.
The comedian bill mareh announced Sunday that he has purchased a minority ownership stake in his favorite baseball team, the New York Mets. I too will be buying a stake in my favorite baseball team Montgomery Biscuits. 
When some one says class reunion what I here is bragfest. This week was the braggyest of bragiest Harvard University 50 year class of 62' bragfest. Some alumies could not attend and still sent their brags about career moves, retirements and grandkids. Like Ted Kaczynski who in the alumni directory, lists his awards as "Eight life sentences, issued by the United States District Court for the Eastern District of California, 1998 for murder."
Timothy Michael Poe's singing talent and his story of struggling back from a brain injury caused by a grenade in Afghanistan captivated the crowd on Monday's episode of "America's Got Talent." After just one song, Poe was already being called a favorite to win until some on checked his story with The US army who said they had no record of such a event. to witch poe responded "you guys check that stuff out? ah i meant when i was fighting for Afghanistan"
When some one says class reunion what I here is bragfest. This week was the braggyest of bragiest Harvard University 50 year class of 62' bragfest. Some alumies could not attend and still sent their brags about career moves, retirements and grandkids. Like Ted Kaczynski who in the alumni directory, lists his awards as "Eight life sentences, issued by the United States District Court for the Eastern District of California, 1998 for murder."
Timothy Michael Poe's singing talent and his story of struggling back from a brain injury caused by a grenade in Afghanistan captivated the crowd on Monday's episode of "America's Got Talent." After just one song, Poe was already being called a favorite to win until some on checked his story with The US army who said they had no record of such a event. to witch poe responded "you guys check that stuff out? ah i meant when i was fighting for Afghanistan"
Friday, May 13, 2011
05-12-11
Florida unknowingly pass a state wide cock block, when Florida law makers made it illegal to have sex with all animals witch includes the animal, the human. The new law tells us one thing for sure they don't have sciences class in law school.
TSA defends pat-down of 8-month-old baby. They said the toddler looked suspicious and it was not racially motivated, The toddler still claims it had to do with turban on his crouch.
Leonardo DiCaprio, and super model girl friend Bar Refaeli have Split, thousands of women every where have already sent leo there sympathy and have offered a vagina to cry on.
Hugh Grant Turns down the roll of replacing charlie Sheen on ‘Two and a Half Men’ saying I would've love to take the roll but I'm just not a big enough peace of shit.
A man dressed as Batman was arrested on Wednesday and is being charged with carrying concealed weapons. The man is fighting the charges saying the weapons weren't concealed ah they where on my utility belt!
TSA defends pat-down of 8-month-old baby. They said the toddler looked suspicious and it was not racially motivated, The toddler still claims it had to do with turban on his crouch.
Leonardo DiCaprio, and super model girl friend Bar Refaeli have Split, thousands of women every where have already sent leo there sympathy and have offered a vagina to cry on.
Hugh Grant Turns down the roll of replacing charlie Sheen on ‘Two and a Half Men’ saying I would've love to take the roll but I'm just not a big enough peace of shit.
A man dressed as Batman was arrested on Wednesday and is being charged with carrying concealed weapons. The man is fighting the charges saying the weapons weren't concealed ah they where on my utility belt!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
05-11-11
A 100 year old man married his 90 year old girlfriend after being together for 30 years. When asked why he waited so long he respond "I'm finally blind enough to consummate the thing."
A recent study showed that judge's who are hungry are less lenient in the court room and are more giving after lunch or a snake break. Deafens attorneys every where are now follow the old saying a apple a day keeps the life sentences away.
In Harleyville, S.C., the town limits sign has disappeared for the fourth time. A local motorcycle shop owner says swiping Harleyville signs, is a point of pride for bikers. Instead of replacing the sing for a fifth time the mayor has decide to just rename the town vespaville saying "Those pussy don't have the balls to steal"
STOCKERTOWN, Pa. fire department is looking for sponsorship. The tiny town of 650 residents wants a fire truck but hasn't been able to pay for it yet. So the fire chief dreamed up the idea of selling advertising space on the new fire truck. So far, none of the local business in town have bought space though because both burned down.
The Presbyterian church made a announced this week it will be allowing gay ministers after hearing this the Catholic church made announced that they had no need for a announcement.
A recent study showed that judge's who are hungry are less lenient in the court room and are more giving after lunch or a snake break. Deafens attorneys every where are now follow the old saying a apple a day keeps the life sentences away.
In Harleyville, S.C., the town limits sign has disappeared for the fourth time. A local motorcycle shop owner says swiping Harleyville signs, is a point of pride for bikers. Instead of replacing the sing for a fifth time the mayor has decide to just rename the town vespaville saying "Those pussy don't have the balls to steal"
STOCKERTOWN, Pa. fire department is looking for sponsorship. The tiny town of 650 residents wants a fire truck but hasn't been able to pay for it yet. So the fire chief dreamed up the idea of selling advertising space on the new fire truck. So far, none of the local business in town have bought space though because both burned down.
The Presbyterian church made a announced this week it will be allowing gay ministers after hearing this the Catholic church made announced that they had no need for a announcement.
Monday, May 9, 2011
05-10-11
In the UK Scientists are hard at work in there labs developing a new condom that helps men maintain erections during sex also men in bars all over the country are also hard at work developing new excuses not to where it!
Mel Gibson new film "The Beaver" flopped this weekend after selling almost no tickets. The 3 people who did by tickets to the film apologized saying "sorry we thought we where going to see porn"
Justin Bieber has spoken out to defend himself against reports he locked a producer of the TV show csi in a closet while shooting a guest spot for the show. Saying I would never do such a thing I know how much it sucks to be stuck in the closet.
A Brooklyn-based Hasidic newspaper removed Secretary of State Clinton from the now-iconic photo of the national security team watching the raid on bin Laden, where Clinton is seen covering her mouth. The newspaper has policy of never printing photos of women because they could be sexually suggestive. Rummer has it they almost made a exception for the historic photo but backed out at the last minuet saying Clinton was showing to much forehead and hands.
a Australian lawyer is in hot water for dropping his pants in court this week. He apparently miss heard the judge when he asked if anyone had an objections.
Mel Gibson new film "The Beaver" flopped this weekend after selling almost no tickets. The 3 people who did by tickets to the film apologized saying "sorry we thought we where going to see porn"
Justin Bieber has spoken out to defend himself against reports he locked a producer of the TV show csi in a closet while shooting a guest spot for the show. Saying I would never do such a thing I know how much it sucks to be stuck in the closet.
A Brooklyn-based Hasidic newspaper removed Secretary of State Clinton from the now-iconic photo of the national security team watching the raid on bin Laden, where Clinton is seen covering her mouth. The newspaper has policy of never printing photos of women because they could be sexually suggestive. Rummer has it they almost made a exception for the historic photo but backed out at the last minuet saying Clinton was showing to much forehead and hands.
a Australian lawyer is in hot water for dropping his pants in court this week. He apparently miss heard the judge when he asked if anyone had an objections.
05-09-11
A son in Florida missed mothers day yesterday after being arrested for hitting his mother. His reasoning for striking mom was because she drank his Starbucks. When the cops arrived he tried having his mom arrested for steeling his coffee. Because nothing says happy mothers day like a pair of matching silver bracelets.
Gary Busey came out in support of Donald trump for president on the Today show this week. He also had some ideas for trumps cabinet. Including secreter of defense Captain Morgan.
The house from the film Home Alone is on the market and it can be yours for a only $2.4 million dollars. Though Local Realtors say they wont even get close to that since there has been a rash of burglaries lately in the neighborhood. The home owners them self where victims of the the wet bandits.
The week Forbes announced it famous Forbes 500 list. Also to come out this week the more prestigious hustler 100.
Newt Gingrich will be announcing via Facebook Wednesday that he will be running for class president, oh wait sorry president.
Gary Busey came out in support of Donald trump for president on the Today show this week. He also had some ideas for trumps cabinet. Including secreter of defense Captain Morgan.
The house from the film Home Alone is on the market and it can be yours for a only $2.4 million dollars. Though Local Realtors say they wont even get close to that since there has been a rash of burglaries lately in the neighborhood. The home owners them self where victims of the the wet bandits.
The week Forbes announced it famous Forbes 500 list. Also to come out this week the more prestigious hustler 100.
Newt Gingrich will be announcing via Facebook Wednesday that he will be running for class president, oh wait sorry president.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
A New Blog!
Hey folks,
I'm Starting up a daily monologue blog or my blog-o-log. I will be doing 5 topical jokes a day on here! So enjoy and thanks for reading!
Heart
J.f. Harris!
I'm Starting up a daily monologue blog or my blog-o-log. I will be doing 5 topical jokes a day on here! So enjoy and thanks for reading!
Heart
J.f. Harris!
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